Battling Depression · College · Counseling · Finding Purpose · Singleness

Get to Know Me… Since it’s been a little while

For once, I feel that it is I who should be welcomed back, not you my dear readers! It has been some time since my last post–time that was completely and unequivocably necessary.

If you are new here and haven’t read any of my old posts, I am a Jesus-loving gal who has a few, serious family issues (two, to be exact) and aching bouts of loneliness that drive me into a deep, depressed state. Further, I am guilty of trying to plug the holes of my heart with food, specifically, in the form of binge-eating.

A perfect recipe for disaster. (Get it? Recipe? Okay, I’ll stop.)

In all seriousness, however, this time away from the ministry of my blog and our wonderful community has produced an incredible amount of wisdom and spiritual growth (which I will get into later). Before my hiatus, I was not responding to comments as I ought to have been and was not posting with regularity–both of which I plan to correct now that I am, thanks to a good Abba, in a mental state to do so.

And if you’ve made it past my lengthy re-introduction to this point, I graciously applaud you! Now, we can get into the meat of this post: I thought that a “Get to Know Me” segment would be rather fitting. Sort of to honor my over-due re-entry to this online world you guys are a part of creating.

I wasn’t sure how many questions to go with, but 10 always sounds like an informative-but-not-quite-boring number, so here goes with a–hopefully–interesting 10 tidbits about me!

  1. Where are you in your education? I just finished my two years at a community college and transferred to my university a little under a month ago (*squeals*). First, I’m going to be getting a Bachelor’s in Psychology, so that I can then pursue my Master’s for Middle School Counseling.
  2. Are you an only child? Nope. I have a younger brother who just graduated high school this past May. If ever there were two siblings more different in temperament and personality, I have yet to meet them. (No joke, I know most siblings say they don’t get along, but all my friends who’ve seen us together completely agree with me.)
  3. Do you have a boyfriend? Another nope. At times, I am blissfully content in my singleness and couldn’t imagine living life differently, having less time to learn about God and cultivate my creative passions. Other times, I have to fight that bitter loneliness that rears its head when my gal friends talk about their college beaus. But, honestly, I think that’s natural. And I don’t think that makes someone any less grateful for their life, so long as they don’t wallow too long in the bitterness.
  4. What hobbies do you enjoy? Hmm… I haven’t necessarily “perfected” any, like, at all, but I’ve dabbled in a few things here and there: writing, drawing, painting, blogging, reading, and Bible journaling.
  5. What types of exercise do you actually enjoy? Trust me, I know. For some, weightlifting is just the thing; for you, a “traditional” workout routine may seem like a contagious disease. I haven’t tried ’em all, but after lots of experimenting, these are what I’ve found I like the most: walking my pups, yoga, dancing, and the occasional weightlifting.
  6. How old are you? I turned twenty this past July. (Whoever said turning eighteen makes you an adult clearly doesn’t know a thing; I am still a child, just with more responsibilities and debt.)
  7. How tall are you? I know it can be kind of hard to “visualize” fellow bloggers, even if the anonymity does have its safety purposes. So, here’s a little description, if it helps: I am about 5’6″; I have dirty blond hair; alabaster skin that, no matter how many sunburns I’ve endured, refuses to tan; blue eyes; and a quick smile.
  8. What’s the farthest you’ve been from home? I live in Virginia and have only been to a handful of other states: Florida, Georgie, Maryland, and North Carolina, all for either vacation or family reunions. When I am older and, you know, no longer a broke college girl, I plan to see much, much more of this giant playground God has given us.
  9. What’s your favorite genre of books or movies? Goly, I’ve been an avid reader all my life, so I can’t pin it down to a mere one. I like fiction and fantasy best with a main romance, but I can’t just read romance. As far as movies go, I’m in love with almost anything Disney; also, Christmas movies are near and dear to my heart.
  10. What is something that many people are obsessed with but you don’t see the point? Sports. Not playing sports, that’s great, healthy even. What I don’t get is how fanatical everyday people get over players they will very likely never meet in person. At times, I find it amusing, but when I see people fighting each other about it, I have to shake my head in baffled wonder.

And that’s it! Feel free to leave any questions in the comments if there’s anything else you’d like to know about me 🙂

You are beautiful and you are loved ❤️

Advertisements
Finding Purpose

A Summer Hiatus, An Awakened Heart

Some of you may look at this post popping into your feed with varying degrees of confusion or even lack of recognition. And that’s okay. Whereas you may have been faithfully chugging out a post a day these past few months, I’ve been faithfully… well, not.

I guess it got to the point where I was just writing what I thought my readers wanted to hear; I was just in it for the likes, the views. For some, that may be fine and dandy, but for me? It felt like I was slowly killing all I want my blog to stand for, because I lost the vision and was working off a dying ember. So, if only one person reads this, that’s okay too.

Because I know God will send each post to the exact person who needs it.

Not that this post or even that my blog is something super special by any means–I’m just one young woman in our ever-growing world. My words aren’t overly-captivating or inspiring, my blog holds no extra appeal than the next. Many of you are far superior writers than my mere twenty years can compare. The only magic to be found here isn’t magic at all.

It’s faith.

Well, there’s a little Disney too.

To those of you who were loyal readers prior to this summer, should you be reading this now, I cannot thank you enough for your encouragement and patience. To those of you who are brand new, I hope you can also employ patience as I ease my way back into this amazing community of bloggers. I’ve met some pretty fantastic people in these past few weeks, and I have a feeling I’ll be writing more on them soon. Your girl’s no longer a community college student–oh no, I’ve hit the big leagues at university!

But let’s not spoil it all too quickly now. Until next time,

You are beautiful and you are loved ❤︎

P.s. To Loved by the King of kings, this one’s for you 😘 I can’t say that Flynn Rider has come to sweep me from the top of my tower just yet haha, but my time there is up. Blessings sweet friend for prompting my return.

Battling Depression · Finding Purpose · Monday Mantra

Monday Mantra: Life’s a Fairytale, Just Don’t Forget the Dragons

As a professed Disney lover and fan of Happily Ever After’s, too often I hear the sarcastic reply that “Life isn’t a fairytale” by friends and family members.

I beg to differ.

Because you guys seemed to like my “Monday Mantra: Fairytale Edition” post, I thought I’d do a sequel of sorts. (And because, you know, when aren’t fairytales post worthy?)

When people commonly argue that life isn’t full of Prince Charming’s or fancy palaces, I think it’s because they look at it from a strict, story book perspective. So, yes, if you’re expecting to see Princess Aurora on your doorstep, asking for somewhere to crash and take a nap, you’ll be waiting a long time. (Unless you live near Disney World…)

That’s not to say that life doesn’t have other fairytale aspects, though.

Now, I understand that most of us don’t face fire-breathing dragons in the literal sense (but hey, if you do, I’m expecting an invite!). But how many of us battle obstacles every single day? They make not come with scales or wings, but they are obstacles nonetheless:

  • Rude boss
  • Messy kids
  • Bills
  • Marital discord
  • Class stress
  • Uncertain future
  • Need I go on?

So, chin up buttercup. You’re a knight in shining armor, facing off some serious dragons, just without the uncomfortable chain mail and heavy sword. And better yet, you’ve got something the story books didn’t have when fighting their dragons: a God who is fighting for you at every step.

You are beautiful and you are loved ❤︎

Battling Depression · Body Image · College · Finding Purpose

Fitness Re-evaluated

It has been a hot, hot minute since I did a post that was fitness related–and with good reason. The past two months I’ve been doing nothing (physically speaking) outside of walking the pups or yoga.

Now, I don’t regret this time off from exercise whatsoever. Taking the focus off of the workouts allowed me the necessary time to re-evaluate my meal planning and the food side of things (which, to me, is more important than any workout anyway!). I’m working on a post that goes over how God’s been working through my meal prep, but what do you think: do a general spiel or maybe provide an example of what I eat in a day? I could even do both if you’d like 🙂

Anywho, as I mentioned in my post “Fitness… or Fun?“, I have tried a lot of different workout routines in the past year and a half. When you’re starting a health journey (notice that I didn’t say diet or weight loss; this is your body, for life, not a fad’s get-fit-quick scheme ❤︎ ), I think it’s important to test the waters. Even if you don’t like it, at least you tried it! There’s all sorts of workout options out there: running, weight lifting, yoga, karate, zumba, hiking, sports, and many more. The important thing is that you give it a chance–say, four weeks or so, before deciding you don’t like it or that it’s not your style.

So, after my recent reprieve from all things exercise, I’ve once again turned back to lifting. When I started lifting for a few months this past summer, I was towards the beginning of my health journey and honestly didn’t really know what I was doing. Now that I’ve experimented and taken time out to work on form, I’m ready and excited for the growth ahead.

“She wraps herself in strength, carries herself with confidence, and works hard, strengthening her arms for the task at hand.” Proverbs 31:17

The further I get into this renewed fitness journey, the more I’ll share about the Biblical reasons I believe God wants us to exercise our bodies, but right now I want to share my former mindsets about exercise–in case you have ever shared similar insecurities.

As I’ve been putting together a weekly lifting schedule, I realized that in the past, I was holding myself back from giving my workouts my all out of fear.

Fear I wouldn’t achieve my dream physique.

Fear I would become obsessed with my appearance.

Fear that God would give me an injury if I started obsessing over my body.

But fear comes from a misunderstanding of God’s love for us.

I didn’t see working out as a form of worship when I started this journey. I didn’t understand how I could grow in Spirit while I was growing in physical strength. So, I never gave it my all because I feared that our Heavely Father would smite me where I stood.

Oh, how he must have sighed at me.

When I drew closer to Him, spending more time reading the Bible and praying, He showed me how askew my rationalization really was. He loves me–He hand-crafted this very body and is delighted when I want to take care of it. He’s not going to punish me for exercising it. The more I know Him, the more I know His will.

And if I’m living for His will, I don’t have to be afraid of anything. Because when I’m constantly in communication with Him, I’m not obsessed with outward appearance.

Sure, the temptation’s there. Do I want sleek, toned muscles? Who doesn’t haha?! But I can balance my goals–God already knows I want a stronger physique. If I believe and put in the hard work, the victory is already mine, not because of me but because He’s the God of all.

Physical training is good… Spiritual training is even better.

It’ll take time. It’ll require hard work, patience, sweat, discipline, and dedication. But doesn’t our faith require the same things?

God can use your body and workouts as praise. Just ask Him to show you the first step you need to take.

I’m still tweaking my new workout routine, but I can tell you I already feel SO much better! Sitting all day doing homework and going to class just takes a toll on my body, so adding a half hour to an hour of movement is incredibly rejuvinating. I’d love to provide extra encouragement or tips if you’re just starting out on your healthy journey! Know, however, that I am by no means a professional and I’m still learning, just like you. I wish you the best my dreamers! You are beautiful and you are loved ❤︎

College · Finding Purpose

Why It’s Okay to Change Your Mind–Over and Over and Over Again

Take a look at the drink in your hand (if you don’t have one, for the sake of the exercise, pretend and follow along please lol). If you juggle the bottle around, what happens?

The liquid moves.

Toss a stone in a pond, and you get the same effect (and if you’re really talented, you can even skip the stone! But, alas, that is not part of my repertoire…). Water has a funny way of resembling life. In the same way that water moves, ripples, goes up, and goes down, as do we. We humans are never stagnant–and if we are, we feel… groggy, unawakened. That’s because we’re not meant to be still for too long. We are constantly evolving, changing, and rippling with the stones thrown at us.

And if someone expects you to stay the same forever, then they are wrong. Simple as that.

As the firstborn, I witness this enforced stagnation from my parents all the time. My father, especially, has the ultimate daddy/police officer/strict/paranoid attitude and can’t seem to acknowledge that I’m growing up. Growth is natural. Growth is necessary. Birds fly the coop and children leave the house, in order that we might learn and become the best we can possibly be. The first step comes with college, but the vital step is in choosing a career.

No pressure or anything.

indecision 1

If you couldn’t tell by my recent bullet journal obsession, I have a thing for planning. Dad and Danny call it OCD; I call it being organized (and I mean, if we’re really gonna label it, it’s CDO, duh). I’ve always been a planner, a week-ahead-of-schedule and already-on-to-the-next-thing kind of gal. I still am, and that’s how I like it!

So, you can imagine my despair at not having a career picked yet.

Lemme do a little recap so you understand my predicament: senior year of high school, I was in the clear because I at least knew that I was headed to community college first. No big deal, everybody takes the same entry stuff the first two years anyway. Well… this is the end of my second year. End of sophomore year, end of community college, preparing to transfer to a university…

Showtime. And I haven’t memorized my script.

In one of my recent posts, I mentioned my education internship: it’s a class that meets once a week and the rest is my time at the nearby elementary school. Up until this point, my “declared mjor” was Elementary Education just because all my life people have told me I’d be a great teacher and, to be honest, it was the only thing I could think of (once upon a time I’d dreamed of being a zoo keeper, but after 9 years of looking after pigs that’s a no-go lol). Chronologically, my indecisive swaying between careers went something like this:

  1. Zoo keeper
  2. Vet tech
  3. High school English teacher
  4. Nutrition advisor
  5. Elementary school teacher
  6. Reading specialist
  7. ?

(Number 7 is what I’ve finally settled on–and, who knows, it could very well change. But this is what I’m feeling led to do and if you’d like to know what my choice is, stick around to the bottom 🙂 )

If you take a look at my list, you’ll notice a theme: that there isn’t a theme. Sure, a lot of them fall under “education”, but the jobs themselves vary wildly. While this list specifically applies to those in the same boat as me right now, those trying to figure out their career plan, the point is the same for everybody:

We change over time.

Now, I’m not saying that being in a constant state of indecision and lack of commitment in every area of your life is a healthy normal. What I am saying is that you as a person will change interests, change likes, change plans, in the exact same way your taste buds change–which is okay, it’s encouraged even! You are a unique individual with beautiful dreams, and you as a dreamer do not have to squish yourself into anyone’s rigid box of limitations. Grow. Stretch. Reach for the sun. You’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t give yourself a chance.

Follow your dreams. Follow your heart. Find a Jack Sparrow compass and follow it too (I had to break up the cliches, and who doesn’t love Johnny Depp as Jack, am I right?? Like, I made a whole Pinterest board about him, c’mon now). Don’t you ever let someone else keep you from doing what you love, please. You deserve happiness and adventure ❤︎

Okay, what you’ve been waiting for this entire time! No? Just here because you finally read all the way through? Hey, I’ll take what I can get 😉 For those of you actually curious haha, here it is: I’m thinking I’d like to be a middle school counselor. Pretty different from elementary school teacher huh? Well, I have been doing an INSANE amount of searching myself, Google hunting, and praying these past few weeks, and this is what has rang out to me. I may do a post on the reasons why, if you guys would be interested? Let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading 🙂 You are beautiful and you are loved ❤︎

Finding Purpose · Monday Mantra

Monday Mantra: Fairytale Edition

“Every person’s life is a fairytale written by God’s fingers.”

Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)

As I was scrolling through a few inspirational Bible verses on Pinterest to add to my new bullet journal, I encountered this lovely little quote I’d saved who-knows-how-long ago.

Many of you, like me, have an undying love for all things Disney, fairytale, or even just plain fiction/fantasy. Many of you, as fellow bloggers and writers, have a deep-rooted adoration for a really good story–me too! (I’m the kid who always asked for a Barnes N Noble gift card at Christmas, and would get more excited about a new book than all my new clothes put together lol.)

And what are a few key truths we know about a good story?

  1. There’s a relatable main character: This is you! You get your very own, hand-written and lovingly created story. That makes you pretty darn special 🙂
  2. The plot twist is unexpected, unpredictable, and seemingly unfair: We’re outraged for our beloved main character! We think “How could this happen?? How could he/she do that?!”, just like in real life when things don’t pan out the way we think they should. God’s still painting, still writing, we’re just impatient (lemme raise both hands for a sec) and think that God doesn’t know or miscalculated.
  3. There’s a villain: (I actually have a bit of an obsession with Disney villains, call me strange, but I have “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, “Be Prepared”, and “Mother Knows Best Reprise” memorized to the l.e.t.t.e.r.) Regardless of how we feel about him, the villain always comes into play. It could be a harsh boss, a rude coworker, or even a vengeful family member. In the grand story God is writing, the villain of all villains is the Devil, who prances around as everything we could ever want but is truly everything that hurts us. Good news is that the villain never wins in a true fairytale, and God’s already won the battle against Satan!
  4. The protagonist learns and grows: Lecture time. We’ve come to class, pencil in hand, whether we really wanted to get up at the crack of dawn to be here or not. That miscalculation we thought God made earlier? As it turns out, it was the best thing for us and we are better people because of it.
  5. Happily ever after: Have you ever skipped to the end of a book, completely ignoring all those screaming voices in your head saying Don’t you do it!!, and read the ending? Didn’t it just ruin the book for you? For me, the book loses all appeal and I no longer want to read it, now that I’ve read the best part first. Similarly, life wouldn’t be the messy, confusing, beautiful journey it is without its plot twists, maniacal villains, or time.

Wait on your happily ever after. It’s coming. God’s got you in the palm of his hand and he’s not letting you go–even when you walk away to fume about the story-writing process (ahem, I’ma just own up to my little fit last week). Like me, you probably want to know the happily ever after ending ahead of time. But maybe this week, you can consider that the chapters are all a part of the happiness.

You are beautiful and you are loved ❤︎

 

College · Finding Purpose

Productivity, Phase 2: the Bullet Journal

Happy Thursday guys 🙂 If you’re new, welcome! And if you’re an old friend (because who am I kidding, this community of bloggers is one of the friendliest I’ve had the privilege to be a part of), welcome back!

If you read my last post, you know that I’ve been facing some heavy decisions and questions concerning my future here lately–just like every other young adult anywhere between senior year of high school and college graduation. What career to follow, what internships to pursue, how to handle said internships… On top of the regular homework load and all else we have to do at home, it can be quite the pill to swallow for young adults–and anyone who’s just got a lot on their plates. It can very easily become overwhelming.

Welllll, I wouldn’t be going on and on about reasons you’re overwhelmed if I didn’t have a potential solution for sorting them out!

I’m a regular agenda kind of gal: every semester I sit down with my planner and syllabi, and go through it to mark down each class’ major events. (The minor events and regular homeworks get filled in as the semester continues.) However, I always have a brief time span each semester, without fail, where I either neglect my agenda or have so much going on that I just forget to consult it. As expected, these moments can get pretty stressful–and if you never use a planner, I can only imagine what your poor brains go through trying to keep up with it all. (But hey, if planners aren’t your thing and you can remember everything you need to, you do you!)

Recently, I’ve been introduced to the concept of a bullet journal.

I know, I know. This is no new thing. Bullet journals were the hottest thing on Pinterest and Instagram like a year and a half ago, I get it. But I live in the middle-of-nowhere mountains of Virginia lol, I’m a little slow on the popular thing-a-ma-bobs wheel.

I don’t know all the ins and outs of bullet journaling, but I know there are a million and one websites and blogs all about ’em if you want to check it out! For me, it’s just been a comment here and there–first from my friend Chat, then in a sweet little post by creativeamara. The final straw in my decision to put my own twist on this whole notion was a post by my dear friend Maggie, whose organization methods inspired me 🙂

For all you photogenic people who know how to take the perfect picture, I am envious haha.

What started out as me just trying to organize my mentor teacher’s schedule (there’ll be a post about that here soon!) evolved into a schedule-inspiration journal. Of course, you never ever have to stick to it religiously or anything like that–it’s yours to morph and change with you! Life isn’t stagnant; neither will your journal be.

But anywho, here’s how I plan mine out:

  1. On the left page: Here’s where I put my daily schedule. Everything from my Bible time and yoga first thing in the morning to my homework in the evenings, all the “to-do’s” go on this side. Beside each, I have an empty little square. When it’s completed, I put a check in the box; if I’m halfway through, I put a slash; and if I had to move it to another day I put an arrow forwarding it.
  2. On the right page: Now, this is the side that gets to be all fun and girly (or handsome, I don’t wanna deter my masculine followers). I love to draw, but have not had ANY time lately, so this is a perfect way to get the creative juices flowing without spending hours on one piece. Google has hundreds of ideas for bullet journal pages, but pretty much it’s up to you. I like to have short inspirational Bible quotes, and then decorate them any which way. For example, the little jar above is a gratitude jar: there’s 28 days in February, so I fill out a heart each day when I’ve remembered to say thank you for something (another shout-out to creativeamara for the idea!).

How you do it is entirely up to you–and that’s what makes it such a novelty! Weight loss trackers, vacation countdowns, finances charts; you name it, you can have it! You can make it daily, weekly, or monthly. You can have an index at the beginning if you like (I personally didn’t since I’m incredibly OCD and trying to label an index without knowing what all I’ll be including just doesn’t work for me).

But the point is that it helps you promote productivity. These planners-turned-personal are all about aiding you in becoming the happiest, least stressed, most efficient you that you can be.

And when we take care of ourselves, we can take the next step of caring for others ❤︎

  • By the way, I didn’t go out and buy any specific kind of journal. Mine is simply a cute “Live fully. Breathe deeply. Love madly.” writing notebook from Barnes N Noble that I got on clearance lol.

Thank you very much for reading! I appreciate the patience during my increasingly-busy schedule–blogging has had to take a slight backburner, but in no way is it forgotten! I want you to know that you are beautiful and you are loved ❤︎